Birth Story

Sharing all the details from Axel’s natural + unmedicated 16 hour birth.

I’m so excited to share Axel’s birth story, as it was one of the most surreal, intense experiences of my life. I know I will never forget it and I learned so much about myself during those hours. And most of all, I’ll forever be grateful that I have this story for what it brought me, my sweet little boy, who we’re already so so in love with after just 1 week together.

The first signs

On Friday, January 15, I went to my midwife for my weekly appointment. I was a day away from 39 weeks, and we decided to do a cervical check, just to see whether anything was starting up yet.

I knew it was common to have some dilation for several weeks, but also to have none whatsoever and have the baby the next day. Because of that I tried to remain indifferent to the result, but when she told me I was 0 centimeters, I was just a little discouraged, mostly because I was getting antsy to meet him and honestly, tired of being pregnant!

I tried to forget about the appointment and went about the weekend as normal.

On Sunday, January 17, I had a big burst of energy and ALL the nesting feels. Joe and I cleaned the whole house, prepped some food (I always do a big batch of steel cut oats for my breakfasts for the week, and made Joe some cookies for dessert), and just hung out the rest of the day.

Throughout my third trimester I used the Hypnobabies program daily to prepare for birth. To be super brief, it’s a program to help you feel empowered, positive, and prepared for natural labor, and you have an online course to take as well as daily audio hypnosis tracks to listen to. There’s a “come out baby” track, recommended for when you get close to your due date to release any last fears or mental blocks to starting your birthing time.

At 3pm I decided to listen to this track for the first time, then went about my day.

At 11:45pm that night when we had gone to bed, I noticed a lot of pressure all over my stomach, not just in one part. It felt like one giant cramp, or even like I had eaten too much and was just super full. I wondered for a second whether it could be a contraction, since I still had no idea what those would feel like, but it lasted for a solid 20 minutes, so I knew it likely wasn’t that and figured maybe it was something from dinner. After about a half hour it stopped completely and I went to sleep.

On the morning of Monday, January 18 I woke up feeling a little strange. It’s hard to explain, there was nothing super specific, I just felt a little off. I thought maybe I just was tired, since my sleep was so bad those last few weeks of pregnancy.

I went about my morning as normal and noticed some cramps. Thinking they were just related to my usual morning bathroom routine, I went, but then realized the crampy feeling was still there afterward, which normally isn’t the case. Again, I didn’t think too much of it at this point, and figured I’d feel better after my morning walk.

At around 9am I walked on the treadmill for about an hour, and during that time noticed around 5 more crampy, tightening feelings in my lower abdomen. Because they were coming and going, a tiny part of me started to wonder whether this could be something. But I thought they were cramps, and maybe I’d go into labor in the next week, since women often reference cramps in the days prior.

After my walk, I went to the bathroom again, which isn’t the norm for me, and noticed those tightening feelings still happening ever 10-15 minutes. They didn’t hurt, but were definitely noticeable.

At 2pm I went upstairs and listened to the “come out baby” track again, and downloaded a contraction tracking app just out of curiosity. At this point, I truly did not think this was labor starting, and figured I’d use the app mostly to rule that out.

It’s officially time

After about 2 hours, I realized this may actually be labor, because what I thought were just cramps were getting more frequent, more intense, and longer.

I could tell Joe was getting a little anxious about convincing me that something was definitely happening, since part of me was still slightly in denial. My biggest fear was going to the center and being told I was still 0 centimeters (like I had been just days before) and being sent home.

But by 5pm he didn’t have to convince me anymore, as the contractions were definitely getting a bit more intense and I really had to focus and breathe to get through them. The pain wasn’t overwhelming at this point, but it was definitely getting uncomfortable.

Around 5pm Joe dropped the dogs off at boarding, where we had arranged for them to stay for a couple days whenever baby boy did decide it was go time. I stayed at home and was just sitting on my birthing ball or laying in bed, listening to my birthing time tracks from Hypnobabies and trying to stay calm and relaxed. Overall I felt okay, and was shocked but excited it was finally happening!

Joe got back home and hung out with me in our room, just kinda doing stuff on his laptop while I had my eyes closed and continued listening to my tracks. I thought I might get bored during this phase, but honestly the time was going by really quickly. I kept using the app to track the contractions, and by 8pm they were all about 1 minute long and 4 minutes apart. At this point I could tell Joe was definitely wanting to call my midwife, and I agreed at 8:30pm he could call. Again, I was mostly worried about getting there and being told nothing was happening.

Looking back it’s so obvious I was in labor, but again, this was my first time with all of it and I didn’t want to get ahead of myself!

Joe spoke with my midwife who agreed it was probably a good idea to come in, and we left for the natural birth center around 9:30pm. It’s still at the hospital closest to us (just 5 minutes away, so convenient), but a totally separate wing dedicated to natural, unmedicated birth. The facility was AMAZING and I was so happy my pregnancy was low-risk so that I qualified to birth baby boy there.

Getting to the natural birth center

We got the the center and after getting all checked in and all my vitals and such checked, it was about 10pm, and my midwife arrived to do the first cervical check. I held my breath, praying that my instincts were right and something was actually happening. I think I also was overthinking this a bit because at my appointment just 3 days before, I was at 0 centimeters.

Well, it turns out I didn’t need to worry, because at that point I was already 5 centimeters. Halfway there! This was a great feeling and I knew things would only get more intense from there, but I was encouraged knowing that things were in motion and that this time had finally come, after months and months of anticipation and preparation.

At this point, the other midwife from the practice I go to came in, and I was SO happy because she was the one I knew best and had all my appointments with. Again, this was a great mental boost for me, and I was so, so relieved she would be there for the process.

After the cervical check, my midwives and the nurse left us in our room to just keep doing what we were doing, and told us they’d come to check my progress in a bit.

The room was like a hotel, it was super nicely decorated and had a full bed, couch, bath tub, and bathroom for us to use. There was a TV so I told Joe to just hang out and watch, while I laid on the bed and closed my eyes to listen to more of my tracks.

About 2 hours later around 1am, the midwives came back and things were definitely feeling more intense, so they encouraged me to try the tub. I was unsure and mostly didn’t feel like moving, but ended up getting in and it felt GREAT. That was the best I felt during the whole process. Don’t get me wrong, the contractions were really intense at this point, but the water helped take off a lot of the pressure I was feeling from my belly.

After a bit I got out and sat on my birthing ball, and things really were picking up at that point. Just by the sensations alone, I hoped that I was getting closer and making a lot of progress, and that these feelings were worth getting that much closer to holding my little one.

I got my cervix checked again at 3am, but didn’t want to know unless it was pushing time, so my midwives didn’t say anything and encouraged me to just keep doing what I was doing, changing positions and breathing through the contractions. They did stay in the room from this point on, though, which I took as a good sign that at least some progress had been made.

This is where I pretty much abandoned the hypnobabies tracks completely, which I didn’t think I would do, but with my midwives and Joe there, it felt weird to listen to something and not be able to hear them and keep pausing things. Plus, the contractions were so intense I honestly couldn’t focus on anything other than getting through them, so my headphones + phone went away around 3am.

A big setback

I spent the next 2 hours honestly battling mentally, trying to hype myself up and stay motivated, reminding myself why I was going natural and that I could get through this, and it would all be so worth it once he was here with me.

It was SO difficult to move around, but my midwives kept encouraging me to change positions to help the progress move more quickly. Walking was SO difficult, I was basically shuffling like an 80 year old woman, and the contractions were so, so intense during this time I was involuntarily screaming through most of them. It was a primal, almost out of body experience, and thank goodness Joe was so supportive and encouraging during this time. Most of the time I’d grab onto him to get through contractions, and he’d whisper words of encouragement. Just feeling his love and knowing I wasn’t alone helped me, I couldn’t have done it without him.

My midwife asked to check me around 5am, and I asked for the result, thinking it would FOR SURE be an encouraging number that would hopefully give me more motivation to keep going, because I was really struggling with the pain during this time.

Unfortunately, I could tell from the look on her face it wasn’t good news. She told me that from the 2 hours she had checked before, NOTHING HAD CHANGED.

I almost lost it at that point, and really had to consciously calm myself. I was immediately flooded with thoughts of “how am I going to get through this?” because the pain was SO intense, and I couldn’t believe nothing had changed in those 2 hours. Mostly, I was worried about making it through the rest of the process, knowing how much energy I had expended in that time and knowing pushing would likely take 10x more whenever that time came.

My midwives told me I was leaking some amniotic fluid, but I hadn’t had the big gush of my water breaking. They thought that might be holding up the process, so I agreed to their suggestion to do it manually and they used a little hook to break it completely. They also told me the contractions would get even more intense from there, but at that point I knew I had to do whatever I could to get things going.

They weren’t lying, and the contractions were INSANE from then on. I laid down on the bed which was the most comfortable place for me the whole time, and knew it would help me save some energy, plus whenever I sat on the ball I was literally falling asleep, which was a weird feeling since I was still so acutely aware of the contractions and pain.

A couple hours and many contractions later, they checked me and told me the time had come – I was ready to push. I did so much research on natural labor during my pregnancy, so I knew this was really where I’d have to muster up everything I had left. I had read birth stories where pushing lasted anywhere from 20 minutes to 6 hours, so I knew it’d be tough but at least I was channeling what little energy I had left into doing something that felt really productive, rather than just trying not to die during contractions.

My midwives and the nurse helped coach me to push during the peak of the contractions, and every single push took SO much energy. I was determined as hell at this point to make the hours of pain and work worth it and get it done, but in the back of my mind I wondered whether I’d have enough energy to push him out.

WE DID IT!

With Joe at my head the whole time (I was laying on the bed with my head at the foot) encouraging me and holding my hands, and my midwives at my sides coaching and motivating me with telling me how well I was doing, 2 hours later, Axel Edward was born, all perfect 7 pounds and 8 ounces of him.

After being awake for over 28 hours and in active labor for 16, I felt exhaustion like I never had before, but that was completely overpowered by the incredible love and relief as they put him on my chest. It was absolute bliss.

The three of us savored our first few precious moments as a family, and after the cord stopped pulsing, Joe cut it, and my placenta came out easily about 10 minutes later. They weighed and checked Axel’s vitals then put him back on my chest, which was a great distraction from my midwives taking care of and sewing up my second degree tear.

I knew going in that natural, medication-free birth would likely be the hardest thing I ever did, and I know now that nothing will ever compare. But I also had so much motivation to go natural for the multitude of benefits for both baby and me, and I’m SO damn proud of myself for sticking with it throughout those 16 hours.

I’ll never forget those hours and the insanely hard work it took, but it was all worth it for the pure euphoria I felt that morning when we met our sweet little boy and felt a love like never before.

Xo,

Sara